Tales from Being an Asshole

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

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That Time I Made a Doctor with a Broken Leg Hobble Up the Stairs Because I Was a Paranoid Parent

…or, how being a brand-new mom or dad makes you lose compassion for everyone but your baby.

That Time I Dated — and Dumped — a Nice Guy Just to See What It Was Like

Fresh off having my heart broken for the first time, I wanted something safe and easy. I should have known that would mean breaking someone else’s heart.

That Time I Hit a Parked Car—and Just Walked Away

Recently divorced, extremely broke and terrified of yet another bill, I was shocked to learn of my own capacity to shirk responsibility.

That Time I Tried to Murder My Dog

My misguided attempt to give my ailing dachshund a noble death turned into a complete disaster—and a lesson in letting go.