The 3 Best Pitches I’ve Ever Received
Want to write for Narratively? Or just curious about how our storytelling comes to life? We’re pulling back the curtain to show you exactly how a story pitch gets our attention.
At Narratively we believe everyone has a story to tell. But we also know that pitching your story can be a bit of a daunting and mysterious process. Trust me, I know from experience! In addition to being Narratively’s co-founder and editorial director, I’m a longtime freelancer myself, and I’ve nervously sent more than my fair share of pitches. Well, our new StoryCraft section is all about lifting the curtain behind the mystery that is publishing, and today we’re looking at pitching.
Since we launched Narratively in 2012, we’ve received more than 50,000 story pitches! For this post, I’m sharing three of them that immediately made me say: Yes, please. Give me that story!
Below, I’ve included Narratively’s standard questions from our story-pitch form, along with each writer’s response to those questions — from their proposed headline to their story overview to their reporting plan and more. I’ve also added a few comments from me in italics about what made particular parts of each pitch strong. Each of these pitches ultimately became a great story that we published on Narratively, so if you’re interested in writing for us but aren’t sure how to craft a pitch to get our attention, keep reading! If you still have questions after reading this or want to dive deeper, just head over to our brand new How to Pitch Narratively thread, where I’ll be answering any and all questions you have about the pitching process.
OK, let’s go!
Pitch #1: “Secret Lives” Reported Story from Abigail Edge
Proposed Headline: Daredevil Stunts and Rhinestone Bikinis: The Smith Family Cannonball Legacy
Why I Love This: The headline you draft in your pitch is your first chance to grab our attention and tell us what your story will be about. It should make us say, “Ooh, tell me more.” This one is great because it does exactly that. It doesn’t tell us everything. I don’t yet know what a “family cannonball legacy” is or what role rhinestone bikinis will play in this story, but I’m intrigued. I definitely didn’t save this pitch for later — I read it right away.
What's your story about?
Inside the cannon, every muscle in David “The Bullet” Smith’s body is taut. Looking up, he sees a small circle of blue sky. He's staring down the barrel, all 35 feet of it.
There's a tremendous pressure, so intense he feels it in his teeth, and suddenly he's soaring into the sky, going from zero to 75 in less than half a second. His movements are instinctual. He straightens and stabilizes his body, despite knowing that his landing position is predetermined. Still, he can't help but err on the side of caution.
"I flap my arms a little bit every flight," he says.
Smith is a second-generation human cannonball. He learned everything he knows from his father, David “Cannonball” Smith Sr…
David Smith Sr. didn't need to think too hard about running away to join the circus. Once a celebrated college gymnast, his day job teaching math to high schoolers just didn't hold enough excitement. He and his college sweetheart, Jean, wanted an adventure.
They found it in the Rock-Smith Flyers, a daredevil trapeze act that took them to sold-out circuses, coliseums, and stadiums all over the United States. They perfected their act, traveling from show to show for nine months of the year and returning to their family farm in Oregon for the winter, where they also raised seven children. By 1976 when they won the Circus World Championships in London the Rock-Smith Flyers were, quite literally, at the top of their game. But Smith had his sights set higher.
At night, while his wife and seven children slept, Smith stayed up late designing his magnum opus – a human cannon.
Under the stage name “Cannonball Smith,” he began performing his explosive stunt all over America, Canada, and Europe. When Smith outgrew the cannon, seeking higher and more powerful shots, he built a second one. The third cannon he built enabled him to break the then-world record for the longest cannonball flight at 180 feet, half the length of a football pitch.
All seven children were shot from a cannon before they hit puberty, though only five went on to do it professionally. The eldest, Rebecca, was a cannonball for 28 years before giving it up to run a dog trick circus act with her husband. Jennifer was 'The Cannon Lady' for 25 years – around the same time Smith Jr. has been doing it. Kimberley wasn’t a huge fan of the act, but would step in if one of her sisters “wanted time off to have a baby.” The youngest, Stephanie did it for 15 years, before an accident ended her career.
Surprisingly, landing is the most dangerous aspect of the human cannonball act. More than 30 people have died performing the stunt. Smith Jr. admits he still gets nervous. “Oh yeah,” he says. “Every show.”
The Smith family have experienced a full spectrum of sprains, breaks and other cannon-related injuries between them. But the closest call came in 2006 when Stephanie broke her back after overshooting her landing in Australia. Stephanie, who was in her early twenties at the time, recovered well, although she no longer works as a cannonball. Instead, she re-trained as a nurse. Today, Smith Jr. is the only cannonball in the family who is still performing. Still, in the family tradition, it’s his daughter Chloe who lights the cannon.
Why I Love This: Abigail shows us right at the start of her pitch that she reads Narratively and knows what kind of storytelling we publish: cinematic stories that open with active, dramatic scenes. She also shows us that she knows how to write. If you have great clips from top publications, by all means send them our way. But we also don’t care if you’ve never written a single published story in your life. If you can show us in your pitch that you can write exciting scenes, then we’re going to want to work with you.
From there, Abigail reels us in with an interesting premise: an entire family of human cannonball performers? Across three generations! I’m intrigued. Then she also shows us that there’s a full narrative arc here — that there will be lots of twists and turns in the story, with danger and disaster, tragedy and triumph. That’s key for us. We don’t do stories that just tell us something or someone exists. We do big pieces that have full narrative arcs, where something changes from the beginning of the story to the end.
What's your reporting plan?
I recently carried out an hour-long preliminary interview with David Smith Jr., some quotes from whom you will see in this pitch.
I’ve also done extensive research into both the Smith family cannonballs and the history of human cannonballs, using YouTube and other web sources, plus newspaper archives such as ProQuest and Nexis UK.
In addition to subsequent interviews with David, I plan to interview his father, his sister Stephanie, and his daughter Chloe. Each of them has agreed to be interviewed.
Although the story takes place in the US and I am based in the UK, I am confident I can tell this story and get all the descriptive scene-setting detail I need from interviews and photographs (some of which David Jr. has already supplied). No on-the-ground reporting is needed.
Why I Love This: Abigail shows us here that she not only has a great story idea, but also a solid plan for how to report it. She’s already interviewed her main subject in-depth and demonstrated that she knows how to use the interview material she’s gathered to craft colorful scenes that make the reader feel like they’re watching this person’s life unfold.
Has this been covered elsewhere? If so, please provide links to previous coverage and describe what makes your proposed piece a new, untold side of this story.
Despite their performative public personas, the Smith family are very private people with an incredibly hard work ethic. When I contacted David Smith Jr. to request an interview, he was initially hesitant that I wanted to write a descriptive, personal account about his family. He said he only really promoted himself on a professional level.
Although many news articles have been written about Smith, and to a lesser extent his siblings, they tend to be promotional and fairly brief. I have included some examples below. Certainly, none of them delve into what it was like for the Smith children to grow up traveling with the circus and watching their father get shot from a cannon night after night. They don’t delve into how the pressure of being on the road eventually led Smith Sr. and his wife to divorce, or how the family feels about Stephanie’s near-fatal cannonball stunt in Adelaide.
After speaking with Smith Jr., we developed a rapport and by the end of our conversation he told me warmly that we could take this story wherever my curiosity takes me. He is an engaging storyteller and told me so many fascinating anecdotes that I can only imagine what golden nuggets subsequent interviews might bring.
Having said that, I cannot argue that Smith and his family have not already received generous news coverage, including the Tonight and Today shows, the Discovery Channel and America’s Got Talent. However, I am fully confident there is a story that has yet to be told and that this is the perfect opportunity to tell it.
Why I Love This: We’re focused on untold stories, things that haven’t already been covered in other major publications, books or movies. Abigail doesn’t do herself a disservice by pointing out that the Smith family have already been covered a lot elsewhere. Instead, she does a great job making the case that while they’ve been on TV to show off their acts on many occasions, her article will be the first one to tell their story in all the complexity it deserves.
Read Abigail’s Story: The First Family of Human Cannonballing
Pitch #2: Memoir Pitch from Jorge Novoa
Proposed Headline: My Funny Exorcism
Why I Love This: We want all of our stories to feel surprising — to make our readers say, “Wow, I've never read something like this before.” A lot of personal essay pitches we receive, even very good ones, are about things many other people have experienced and written about before. (My adoption, my coming out story, my first time living overseas…) Those are all worthy topics, but for a story to work for us we need to see a surprising twist. We’re looking for something we haven’t seen elsewhere. In this case, we’ve all seen exorcisms in movies and TV and books before, but… a funny exorcism story? I don’t think I’ve ever read that before — and I want to know more.
What's your story about?
The only thing more absurd than how my Puerto Rican mother found out I’m gay was the procedure that would supposedly cure me.
I share our story in a 4,000-word personal essay called “My Funny Exorcism.” It all began in 1996, when I was 14, living in Miami, and hoping my mother would never discover my secret. But the married couple who read her tarot cards convinced her to go through my things, and that once she discovered the evidence, she should bring me back so they could help.
Sure enough, Mami found an unsent note I’d written to my best friend, and following an emotional conversation, she guilted me into going with her to their place called The Wild House. There, they performed a crazy ritual, invoking spirits whom they said confirmed what they suspected: I wasn’t actually gay—I only believed I was because of the ancient demon in me, possessing me into lusting after the men from TGI Friday’s lineup.
What follows is a relentless power struggle between my mother trying to change me and my getting her to accept who I am.
While this story has been over 20 years in the making, what finally gives it closure isn’t my mother changing her mind—or how Ricky Martin was the one to ultimately bring us together. I finally made peace with our dark and funny history once I was fully able forgive her, something that could happen only after I truly understood my mother’s actions. I did not want to vilify her, and so I searched until I could find empathy toward her. This is what I believe makes this piece different from other “conversion therapy” stories. It is topical, not because of my sexuality nor ethnicity, but rather the notion that we will only find resolution to our battles once we are able to put ourselves on the other side.
Why I Love This: Jorge does a good job of quickly showing us that his memoir will have lots of dramatic conflict and tension, and plenty of colorful moments and scenes. At Narratively, we don’t run internal personal essays that are only about how you feel. Instead we focus on bold, expansive pieces that show us in detail what happened, and Jorge does a nice job here demonstrating that this story will be just that. He also shows us that his story will say something meaningful about family relationships and human experiences — something that anyone will be able to relate to, even if you’ve never had a family member pour vats of fresh animal blood on your back to try to scare the gay demons out of your body!
Read Jorge’s Story: My Coming Out Story, Starring a Priest, an Animal Sacrifice and Ricky Martin
Pitch #3: “Deep Dives” History Pitch from Paul Brown
Proposed Headline: The Bus Driver Who Discovered the Loch Ness Monster
Why I Love This: An origin story about an underdog who may have proven the existence of a legendary mythical creature? More, please! If you get one thing from this post, make it this: headlines matter! Paul’s written a headline that’s the exact kind we would run on the site, which makes me excited to read his pitch.
What's your story about?
In 1933, a bus driver from a tiny village in the Scottish Highlands set out to catch a mythical local creature that became the legendary Loch Ness Monster. This is the untold true story of the forgotten man who inadvertently created a global phenomenon that changed his life and his community forever.
Alex Gray is a bus driver from the tiny village of Foyers on the shore of Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. He is an accomplished fisherman who spends much of his time in a boat on the loch. He is building a quiet life with his new wife, Catherine. Since he was a young boy, he has been aware there is something strange in the water. He has had several encounters with what the locals believe is a sea-serpent. In 1933, he reports a strange sighting to a newspaper. For the first time, Scotland learns about a mysterious creature that the newspaper christens the "Loch Ness Monster."
Alex announces he will try to catch the monster. He estimates it to be twice the size of an elephant and has a special tackle rigged, consisting of barrels, strong wire, and heavy-duty hooks baited with dogfish and skate. He places the rig into the loch and follows it as it changes course. After a brave attempt reminiscent of the "barrels scene" in Jaws, his efforts fail. But Alex brings national attention to a local legend, and a flurry of new sightings follow.
Then his younger brother, Hugh, tells him he has seen the monster – and taken a photograph of it. Alex takes Hugh's film to be developed and finds an image of a strange object thrashing about in the water. The photo creates a sensation, and the story goes global, with crowds of sightseers arriving at Loch Ness, hoping to catch a glimpse of the monster. Investigators arrive with eccentric schemes to capture the creature. Various theories are suggested – is it a plesiosaurus, or perhaps just a tree trunk?
Two years later, Alex has another sighting. Loch Ness researchers regard it as one of the most persuasive on record, and regard his brother's photo as impossible to dismiss, yet Alex remains a forgotten character in the Loch Ness Monster story. And there is a final twist. In 1949, Alex sets off alone on his regular fishing trip on the loch. He does not return. On the following day, a search party finds his upturned and damaged boat, and then his body. It is thought Alex has drowned, although his cause of death is uncertified. The exact circumstances of his death remain unknown.
I'm excited to tell this story, with an untold angle on what has become a global phenomenon. Without Alex, there might never have been a Loch Ness Monster. His life was defined (and perhaps even ended…) by the monster. It's left to the reader to decide whether the latter exists.
Why I Love This: In his first two sentences, Paul tells us exactly what this story is about, and why we’ll be interested. With historical pieces, we tend to focus on unsung individuals, and stories that tell us something new and surprising about a well-known event. We’ve all heard of the Loch Ness monster, but I’ve never heard of this part of the story and I want to know more.
He also shows us there is a full story here. A historical piece for Narratively can’t just read like an encyclopedia entry that stitches together interesting unknown facts. Just like our modern-day pieces, it needs to have detail-rich scenes and a compelling narrative arc with a concrete beginning, middle and end. Paul shows us here that this isn’t just, “Hey, no one’s ever heard of this guy who one time took a picture of the monster,” but also that this guy has a full and fascinating untold story, complete with a mysterious ending.
What's your reporting plan?
I've interviewed Alex's last-know descendent, plus two Loch Ness researchers. And I've rigorously scoured Highland newspapers and local records, including the Inverness Courier and Northern Chronicle, plus genealogy and residency records. I have most of the reporting done, and a plan for the structure, and am ready to write it up.
Has this been covered elsewhere? If so, please provide links to previous coverage and describe what makes your story a new, untold side of this topic.
Alex's story has never been told, other than in brief newspaper reports from the time. The full story of his life is completely original and untold. His brother Hugh's photo is well known to Loch Ness enthusiasts, and is included in most key Loch Ness Monster books, but Alex's role in the initial reported sighting and naming of the monster (and developing Hugh's photo when Hugh was reluctant to do so for fear of mockery) and his subsequent death on the loch, are forgotten.
Why I Love This: One of the main reasons why we often reject a history pitch is because the topic sounds interesting but there’s just not enough source material to craft a story that has colorful, detail-rich scenes and compelling moments. Paul shows us in this section that he’s done his research and there’s more than enough information to work with.
Read Paul’s Story: The Obsessive Life and Mysterious Death of the Fisherman Who Discovered The Loch Ness Monster
Ready to pitch? I’ll close with a few overall tips:
Before you send us a pitch, read our guidelines, which outline in detail what we’re looking for.
Make sure you’ve read several of our most recent stories. As with any publication, we’re not just looking for any good story; we’re looking for Narratively stories.
All of the pitches above came through our Submittable, which is the best way to pitch. We read each and every pitch that comes through and consider them all carefully.
Still Have Questions? Pop over to the How to Pitch Narratively thread and ask me anything!