Yes, This Meal Is Supposed to Make You Feel Uncomfortable

From kindergarten to culinary school, people made me feel like my family’s food was backward. Now I cook dishes that push diners to confront their own prejudices.

Photo by Stacey Salter Moore

“What kind of food do you make?”

I’m inspecting the inside of a convection oven when the event manager asks this seemingly benign question from across the room. She’s knee-deep in event planning knickknacks — picture frames, wire hangers, misfit chairs — and barely paying attention; just trying to make friendly conversation.

I stumble over myself as countless past menus and dishes and memories blur together in an incoherent mess. I think about how simple it is to ask, how difficult it is to answer. I pick the easy answer: “New American, with Asian influences.” No matter how many times I say it, it feels foreign, like a shoe that doesn’t quite fit.

“Cool,” she replies.

It’s late in the day, and I’m mentally drained from scouting location after location for a pop-up dinner I’m planning. The last four and a half years have been a long journey, turning what started as a weekly dinner party into a side business. When I first began hosting supper clubs, a somewhat lo…